11 posts tagged “moms”

The kids made me cards this year.  I don't have a scanner that works with this laptop, so I can only type in what they wrote.  I am including the spelling and punctuation they used.

The Youngest, in his ten-year-old penmanship stuck with a simple greeting:  "Happy Mother's Day" on the front with a huge smiley face and "Happy Mother's Day Mom" inside, with a tiny drawing of me beneath and then "Love [his name].  On the other side, he drew a huge mom smiley face.  And there is yet another smiley on the very back.

At school he made a drawing on black construction paper and colored chalk with my first name on the front.  His teacher told the kids to write two words that describe their mom on the back; he wrote "forgiving" and "encouraging".

Makes me believe I am perhaps doing something right!

The Middle's card begins with "Dear Mom" sprawled across the front.  Inside is inscribed:

Its mothers day.
Sit back.
relax,
enjoy yourself.

After all, today and your birthday are really the only days we acknowledge what you do for us.

On any other day, we don't ever think twice about how much you do for us.

All I am trying to say is, thank you for what you do for us.
Thank you for putting up with our crap.

And most of all,
thank you for loving us!

Love, [his name]

Because without you, we wouldn't be here.

The Daughter wrote me a note:

Dear Mommy,
    HAPPY MOMMY'S DAY!  I know how much you like cards, but I decided to write you a letter.  I never was much good at following directions :-).  I just want to say, I love you and I truly am greatful for everything you do for me.  You really should be paid for what you do.  Thank you for putting up with me year round and still having me even thought (she meant though) I didn't wanna come out.  Show's my personality, eh?  I love you.
       Happy Mothers Day,
                [her name]

Sure, they drive me crazy some most days, but I wouldn't change being their mom for anything.

I am blessed.

Janette wrote a wonderful entry about stay-at-home and working moms.  She encourages one to stop judging that harried woman in mis-matched sweats with a handful of toddlers clambering about her legs at the local Super Store.

I am chagrined to admit that I have been on the exact opposite end of the spectrum.  I have been the mom who looked down my nose at "those women" who chose to pop their tot in the closest daycare so they could continue climbing the corporate ladder.

Or so I assumed.  I mean, why else would one - could one! - give up those precious moments with their little one?!

Then finances necessitated that I return to work and pop our youngest into a "chain" daycare facility and not only was I eating a hurried lunch at my desk each day between interviewing prospective employees, I was also consuming a heaping helping of crow.

Janette is right on.  There is no one answer.  Every situation is different.  Every mother has their reasons for choosing to stay home or return to work.  Granted, some reasons on both sides of this debate are selfish and not in the best interest of the children or the family as a whole.  The only thing you can bank on is this: what is good for one family could be very bad for another.

Given my conservative religious background, I have heard it said time and time again that a mother needs to be home with their child(ren) nomatterwhatbygolly, that God will provide if they take that "step of faith" to stay home and care for little Johnny and Susie.  And I bought into that myth for many years.

What I failed to realize since I was personally geared toward being a stay-at-home mom is that not everyone feels the same way as I do.  And do you know what else?  That's okay!

Bottom line is, you (and your spouse) need to decide what is best for you and your family.  As a family, all of the options and alternatives must be carefully weighed.  And then you have to be true to yourself and what your personal needs and desires are.

As well, you have to constantly reassess these things.  Situations and needs change.  What worked for you and your family this time last year may not be ideal today.

Once you've made your decision, stop making apologies and/or feeling guilty for doing what you know is in the best interest of your family.  As moms, we tend to major in that guilt thing, don't we?  So stop that right now.

And the next time you see that well-coiffed woman dropping her infant off at the daycare, don't assume that you have any clue whatsoever.

First things first:

Thanks everyone for the prayers and thoughts concerning the student we lost on Friday.  His funeral is Wednesday at 1 PM.  Please continue to pray for this family, his church family, and our school.

And now to the dilemma.

The Daughter broke up with The Boyfriend back in late September and decided to take a 30-day break from any and all romantic relationships. Thirty days came and went with much mixed emotions and to date she is still unattached.  During this time, she went from crushing on the Now-Ex-BF to crushing on The Boy We Really Like and back to the Ex (not dating him, just crushing on him).  Shoot, it might have even bounced back and forth one other time between then and now.

Rob and I don't believe that the Ex is a good match for her.  He is a good kid, but he isn't good for her, you know what I mean?  He is a project and just not a good fit for her emotionally and relationally.  Yet she claims to be "in love" with him even now.

Then there is The Boy We Really Like.  He has liked The Daughter since this summer.  He tried to date another girl at the beginning of the school year, but his feelings for The Daughter, among other things, got in the way.  Not long after The Daughter broke up with the Ex, he and his then-girlfriend broke up.  At first, it looked as if The Daughter and he would match up after her sabbatical.  But by the time the month had passed, her affections had swung back toward the Ex.

Our school has homecoming during basketball season because we do not have a football team. The homecoming date was announced last week.  The Daughter decided, unbeknown to us, that whoever asked her first she would say yes to.

Guess who made the first move?

The Boy We Really Like.  He even talked to Rob on Sunday.  The Daughter followed through on what she'd decided and said yes.

Only guess what?  She would rather go with the Ex.

I am afraid she is really going to hurt The Boy We Really Like.  He is sincere, and personality-wise, he is a great fit for her.  But she can't - or won't - see it.  I am not sure why she hangs on so tight to the Ex.  I mean, he's not a bad kid, not at all.  But I can see now how true it is that parents can sometimes see things that kids can't.  I didn't believe it until I became one, but it's true.

I don't want to just out right forbid her to be with the Ex, because I know what that will do.  But I don't want to push her toward something where The Boy ends up getting hurt, because he doesn't deserve that either.  I think she needs to follow through with the homecoming date, but I fear she will pay more attention to the Ex than her date.

Gah!

I am trying not to be an overbearing helicopter parent, but I also don't want her to make decisions that she may really regret one day.

"You still need to write out your Christmas list," I reminded The Youngest as we were leaving the grocery store tonight.

"I know," he said, "but what I really want to know is if Santa Claus is real."

And there it was.  The mystique and magic of Christmas finally questioned in his 9-year-old mind.

"Well, what do you think?"

We talked about that for a while with him dancing around his real thoughts until he finally admitted two fears.

"If Santa isn't real, I won't get a present from him under the tree."

"Do you think you will get less presents?" I asked.

"I don't know.  Maybe.  And Santa always brings the big present."

Ah ha.

I continued in the vein of what do you really think and how does believing he is real affect the holiday as well as not believing he is real.

"Why don't we talked to Dad about this?" I said.

"But I want to know now," he whined.

I called Rob, who was getting ready for praise team practice.  "Tell him we will talk about it tomorrow night."

Do you think this answer satisfied our budding skeptic?  Of course not.  All the way home he hounded me to talk to him about it rightthatveryminute.

"If you are still awake when your dad gets home, I will have him come in and talk to you."

Rob wandered straight down to his office when he arrived a half hour later.  I joined him a bit later to talk about our respective days.  It wasn't long before we heard the pitter-patter of feet headed our way.  He climbed onto Rob's lap.

Rob took the same initial approach: "What do you think?"

"I knew you were going to ask me that!  I want you to tell me if he is or not!"

Rob assured The Youngest that he would, once he told him what he thought.  They talked about the same reasons and questions he and I had, including his gift concerns.

"Santa Claus is not real," Rob finally said.

"I knew it!"  The Youngest gave us both a lopsided smile, then slowly leaned toward Rob and did something I did not expect, not one bit.

He began to weep quietly.

"Why does something that seemed so real have to be fake?" he murmured, as tiny tears trickled down his cheeks.

When we told our kids about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and good old St. Nick, I expected them to do as I had: figure it out on their own one day (or have a "well-meaning" friend break it to them), pretend for a holiday or two that they still believed, then confess that they were "too old for that stuff".

That is exactly what The Daughter and The Middle did.

When we wove those tales into the mind and heart of The Youngest, I didn't expect it to shatter into salty tears one foggy November night.

A lesson on handling disappointment?  Perhaps.

But wouldn't it have been nice if he could still believe for a little while longer?  If a little boy that still hoped Santa was real wasn't tucked in knowing he is not?

This growing up stuff...I don't have to like it.

"Hey, guys, guess what?  I am going to let you have the rest of the day off after your dentist appointments this week!"

"Really?  Yes!"

"Did I mention that they are on Thursday morning at 8:20 AM?"

Groan, grumble, whine.... "But we already have off on Thursday!!!  We wanted to sleep in!!"

"Awww, really?" (insert slightly gleeful mom voice)

Paybacks from those middle of the night nursings and vomit-cleanings, ya know?

Tee-hee.

The Daughter - First Place for her class (9th & 10th grade).  She did this project pretty much all by herself.  I took pictures and had them printed.  The rest - all her!

The Middle Child - Second Place for his grade (7th).  He did most of the project by himself.  The Daughter gave him some direction while I was baling water on Sunday, and I assisted a bit with the experiment and artistic direction on the display and tweaking his conclusion.  The first place winner made perfume, so that was a tough one to top, though Rob - God love him! - announced, "Well, it is SO obvious that a parent did that for her".  MC was a little disappointed that he didn't place first, but I feel (and told him I think that) he did awesome since he basically did it all on his own.

The Youngest - First Place for his grade (3rd).  His teacher said it was one of the best she'd ever seen.  Admittedly, I did a lot of it, BUT he chose the subject matter ("I want to do brain cells, Mom!) and he learned the information so he could explain to his class how neurons send messages (kind of complicated for a 9-year-old, if you ask me). 

And so that concludes our proud parent moment for today!

That is the kind of day I am having so far.  I got up at the butt-crack of dawn with hubby to help him get his cute butt* out the door.  Then I climbed back under our down comforter and dozed on and off for several hours.

Ah, the joy of a day off.

What I really need to do, though, is get off my keister and take a walk/run around the neighborhood.  It is still a bit chilly today, but I really don't have any excuse not to get my hiney a-movin'.

Except that, as I have mentioned before, I am inherently lazy.

Gah.

In other news, I really, really, really need to start working on get the kids to begin working on their stupid very important Science fair projects.

Have I mentioned how much I abhor Science fair projects?  They rank up there with annual pap smears.

Actually, I'd rather have a pap smear than work on three Science fair projects this week.  Because, seriously folks, these are not student projects, are they?  Oh, no.  They are parent projects.  (Who do these teachers think they are kidding?  Huh?  HUH?!?)

Isn't it my Spring break too?!

(Insert image of pouting, arms-crossed, foot-stamping Nicole here.)

Okay, end of rant.  You can all go back to your regularly scheduled Tuesday now.

*Yes, after over 18 years of marriage, I still think my hubby has an adorable caboose.

Heard this in a sermon yesterday and just loved it - the pastor read it, then said, "Isn't this a picture of parenting?" 

Doing what needs to be done,

Where it needs to be done,

However it needs to be done,

When it needs to be done

Without regard to whether I feel like it or not.

I can't say that I am always as conscientious as I need to be.  It can be so easy to be selfish - still! - even after 15 years of parenting. Makes me want to try harder, you know?

This was one of those "ah-ha moments" for me.

So, what's been going on around here...

I've been working almost every school day for the past three or four weeks now.  Actually, since the second week in January.  Which is good and bad.  Good for the checkbook.  Not so good for the state of our house (can we say dust bunnies as big as house cats, boys and girls?). 

I've been in the daycare for four days now.  I only sub in the infant room.  Sure they cry and poop and sometimes spit up, but they don't talk back yet.  And they still like to cuddle.  And they smell good.  Except when they poop or spit up, but overall, they're just nice.

**WARNING** - Proud Mom moment ahead:

The almost-9-year-old started basketball at the Y on Saturday.  He rocked.  10 points.  He beat the other team all by himself.  (The final score was 22-8.)  He came home and trash talked his varsity-playing sister ("I bet you never got 10 points in a game, huh?").  Must work on the concept of humility with him pronto.

Rob and I are getting ready to go out for a pre-pre-Valentine's dinner.  There are a few reasons for this.  Number one, we are forecast to have snow and ice for the next two evenings, so a pre- or actual Valentine's dinner is wonky.  Second, we hate the Valentine's dinner crowds.  Which will probably be non-existent if the weather does what it is threatening to do.  But as romantic as I like to be, risking life and limb on icy roads just to celebrate a highly-commercialized H@llmark holiday is not my idea of fun.

Okay, I am boring myself. 

Caio.