10 posts tagged “moms of teens”

The kids made me cards this year.  I don't have a scanner that works with this laptop, so I can only type in what they wrote.  I am including the spelling and punctuation they used.

The Youngest, in his ten-year-old penmanship stuck with a simple greeting:  "Happy Mother's Day" on the front with a huge smiley face and "Happy Mother's Day Mom" inside, with a tiny drawing of me beneath and then "Love [his name].  On the other side, he drew a huge mom smiley face.  And there is yet another smiley on the very back.

At school he made a drawing on black construction paper and colored chalk with my first name on the front.  His teacher told the kids to write two words that describe their mom on the back; he wrote "forgiving" and "encouraging".

Makes me believe I am perhaps doing something right!

The Middle's card begins with "Dear Mom" sprawled across the front.  Inside is inscribed:

Its mothers day.
Sit back.
relax,
enjoy yourself.

After all, today and your birthday are really the only days we acknowledge what you do for us.

On any other day, we don't ever think twice about how much you do for us.

All I am trying to say is, thank you for what you do for us.
Thank you for putting up with our crap.

And most of all,
thank you for loving us!

Love, [his name]

Because without you, we wouldn't be here.

The Daughter wrote me a note:

Dear Mommy,
    HAPPY MOMMY'S DAY!  I know how much you like cards, but I decided to write you a letter.  I never was much good at following directions :-).  I just want to say, I love you and I truly am greatful for everything you do for me.  You really should be paid for what you do.  Thank you for putting up with me year round and still having me even thought (she meant though) I didn't wanna come out.  Show's my personality, eh?  I love you.
       Happy Mothers Day,
                [her name]

Sure, they drive me crazy some most days, but I wouldn't change being their mom for anything.

I am blessed.

First things first:

Thanks everyone for the prayers and thoughts concerning the student we lost on Friday.  His funeral is Wednesday at 1 PM.  Please continue to pray for this family, his church family, and our school.

And now to the dilemma.

The Daughter broke up with The Boyfriend back in late September and decided to take a 30-day break from any and all romantic relationships. Thirty days came and went with much mixed emotions and to date she is still unattached.  During this time, she went from crushing on the Now-Ex-BF to crushing on The Boy We Really Like and back to the Ex (not dating him, just crushing on him).  Shoot, it might have even bounced back and forth one other time between then and now.

Rob and I don't believe that the Ex is a good match for her.  He is a good kid, but he isn't good for her, you know what I mean?  He is a project and just not a good fit for her emotionally and relationally.  Yet she claims to be "in love" with him even now.

Then there is The Boy We Really Like.  He has liked The Daughter since this summer.  He tried to date another girl at the beginning of the school year, but his feelings for The Daughter, among other things, got in the way.  Not long after The Daughter broke up with the Ex, he and his then-girlfriend broke up.  At first, it looked as if The Daughter and he would match up after her sabbatical.  But by the time the month had passed, her affections had swung back toward the Ex.

Our school has homecoming during basketball season because we do not have a football team. The homecoming date was announced last week.  The Daughter decided, unbeknown to us, that whoever asked her first she would say yes to.

Guess who made the first move?

The Boy We Really Like.  He even talked to Rob on Sunday.  The Daughter followed through on what she'd decided and said yes.

Only guess what?  She would rather go with the Ex.

I am afraid she is really going to hurt The Boy We Really Like.  He is sincere, and personality-wise, he is a great fit for her.  But she can't - or won't - see it.  I am not sure why she hangs on so tight to the Ex.  I mean, he's not a bad kid, not at all.  But I can see now how true it is that parents can sometimes see things that kids can't.  I didn't believe it until I became one, but it's true.

I don't want to just out right forbid her to be with the Ex, because I know what that will do.  But I don't want to push her toward something where The Boy ends up getting hurt, because he doesn't deserve that either.  I think she needs to follow through with the homecoming date, but I fear she will pay more attention to the Ex than her date.

Gah!

I am trying not to be an overbearing helicopter parent, but I also don't want her to make decisions that she may really regret one day.

"Hey, guys, guess what?  I am going to let you have the rest of the day off after your dentist appointments this week!"

"Really?  Yes!"

"Did I mention that they are on Thursday morning at 8:20 AM?"

Groan, grumble, whine.... "But we already have off on Thursday!!!  We wanted to sleep in!!"

"Awww, really?" (insert slightly gleeful mom voice)

Paybacks from those middle of the night nursings and vomit-cleanings, ya know?

Tee-hee.

Dear Daughter,

If I close my eyes for a little while, I can see two blond pig tails, bouncing about in a ball pit, and then bounding over to where Daddy and I sat.

“This is my new friend!” you exclaim, grinning broadly, then just as quickly galloping away to play some more, your new buddy following happily along.

I can’t even tell you how many times that scene was repeated in your toddler and preschool years – and even elementary years.  We didn’t have to take one of your friends with us to Mickey Dee’s or Chuck E. Cheese, because you always found a friend.

My girl was born to be a leader and people-impacter.  People of all ages have always been drawn to your charisma, your charm, your beauty (in and out), and your heart.

I know at times it stumbles, and yes, I have wept over those moments in time because I hate to see you hurting.  But there is one thing that I am always certain of: even in those dark moments, I know that my girl - my “Pure Victory” - will pick herself up, brush herself off, and start all over again.

And yes, I’ve seen you try it your way.  But what always wins through – what makes my heart soar as your mom - is your love for God.  I know you have wrestled with Him, daughter of my heart – much over the past year or two.  And I do fear that sometimes that has been in no small part because of me.  But I have also seen you bow to Him, show your love for Him, and allow yourself to be taught by Him.  I cherish those moments, those moments of watching you grow and blossom.

Sometimes I joke that one daughter is enough.  And yes, you do give me a run for my money (truthfully, we are too much alike for our own good, aren’t we?).  But the real reason one daughter is enough?

Because that daughter is YOU.  THE daughter of my heart.  I don’t have to share my heart with another daughter!  What a blessing!

I am proud of you.  I am proud of the woman you are becoming, struggles and all.  I am proud that you are standing up and asking to be counted as, and among, the budding leaders in your youth group and school.  Despite the frustrations and the bickering and the critiques, I do hope you know that no matter what, I love you.  I hope you know that my greatest desire is for you to be all that God wants you to be.  And I have no doubt that as you follow Him, as you continue to give your life to Him, that that is exactly what you will be.

It gives me great joy knowing you are not only the daughter of my heart, but also a beloved daughter of the King.

Now go out there and be all that God created you to be, beautiful one!

Love, Mom

(*The Daughter is attending a leadership retreat in a few weeks, and the youth pastor asked for letters from family and friends.  They are going to be given out throughout the retreat; the kids know nothing about them.  I do not post this to get accolades - I post this as a part of my life at this date and time, so that one day I can read back over it and remember.  Especially on those days when I really want to throttle her, bless her teenaged heart!)

The Daughter - First Place for her class (9th & 10th grade).  She did this project pretty much all by herself.  I took pictures and had them printed.  The rest - all her!

The Middle Child - Second Place for his grade (7th).  He did most of the project by himself.  The Daughter gave him some direction while I was baling water on Sunday, and I assisted a bit with the experiment and artistic direction on the display and tweaking his conclusion.  The first place winner made perfume, so that was a tough one to top, though Rob - God love him! - announced, "Well, it is SO obvious that a parent did that for her".  MC was a little disappointed that he didn't place first, but I feel (and told him I think that) he did awesome since he basically did it all on his own.

The Youngest - First Place for his grade (3rd).  His teacher said it was one of the best she'd ever seen.  Admittedly, I did a lot of it, BUT he chose the subject matter ("I want to do brain cells, Mom!) and he learned the information so he could explain to his class how neurons send messages (kind of complicated for a 9-year-old, if you ask me). 

And so that concludes our proud parent moment for today!

Heard this in a sermon yesterday and just loved it - the pastor read it, then said, "Isn't this a picture of parenting?" 

Doing what needs to be done,

Where it needs to be done,

However it needs to be done,

When it needs to be done

Without regard to whether I feel like it or not.

I can't say that I am always as conscientious as I need to be.  It can be so easy to be selfish - still! - even after 15 years of parenting. Makes me want to try harder, you know?

This was one of those "ah-ha moments" for me.

I can't type that title without beginning to hum that dumb song.  Thanks, Jenn for reminding me of it after reading your post on the lovely storm we got here on the eastern seaboard.

Ice Storm view from porch

So, yeah.  Ice.  And lots of it.  According to the weather service, after getting about 2 inches of fluffy white stuff, the precip changed over to sleet and freezing rain, dumping the equivalent of a foot of snow on us in the form of frozen water.

Lovely.

Two days off from school and work, so I am not complaining.  And hubby got to work from home too (gotta love the Internet and remote log-ins).  Which means I also enjoyed a crowded shower two days in a row.

*wink*

Icy red maple

It did look pretty, and thankfully we didn't have to go out in it and we didn't lose power.  Maybe the money-gauging power company actually can do something right.

This morning, middle child and youngest child went out for a bit to admire the icicles.  MC brought a 3 foot long one to the door.  I went to get the camera, and in the minute or two it took for me to return to the door, he'd managed to fall on his butt in the driveway.  Right on top of the amazingly cool icicle.

He reclined there on the ground moaning pitifully (not a real "I am hurt" moan, but rather a "someone feel sorry for me and help me up" moan; think of our padre, girls).  So, as a consolation prize, I can only show you the icicle YC brought in and stuck in the freezer.

That one is about 1/4th the size of the one MC found.  Still cool, but kind of a letdown.  But MC's 13-year-old butt managed to make the incredibly cool one an icicle pancake.

Two more pictures for your viewing pleasure are off to the right side of my blog: one of some tree branches and one of a bush in front of our house.  Or if you want to see some really cool ice photos, visit my brother-in-law's blog and admire the shots he posted taken with - I am assuming - his new Nikon D80.

Nope, I am not jealous.  Not one bit.

Now I get to go upstairs and explain to our drama queen almost-15-year-old that she has to shave her birthday party list down by two guests.

Let the fun begin!!

The almost 15-year-old was in rare form two mornings ago.  Tuesday, I believe it was, so maybe that makes it three mornings ago.  At any rate...

She is a total bear (that is putting it mildly) if she skips a meal.  So, I am constantly on her butt about eating breakfast.  Well, maybe not constantly, but if she sleeps in, she tends to skip that meal, and then her brothers and I are treated to her pissy attitude all 20-30 minutes to school. So, really it is for the sake of my sanity, her brothers' emotional well-being, and because I like her teachers that I tell her she has to eat something in the morning.

That set her off.  If I'd looked at the calendar, I would have remembered that she is also in that wondrous time of the month when hormones replace brain cells.  We ended up bickering all the way to school.  During the quiet moments, she sulked and pouted.  I managed to keep my emotions in check, which makes me quite proud.

I was subbing that day, but, of course, she wouldn't dare walk into the school with her mother.  As I finally make my way down the main hall, I see her hightailing it from the gym, crying.  Not just crying, sobbing.

Oh, great.  What in the world happened.  Did the boy break up with her, did she catch him talking to her arch-nemesis...

"What's wrong," I ask, stopping her from running past.  Though drama is sometimes her middle name, I really am concerned that something serious has transpired.

"I didn't know today is class picture day, and I look like SH**!!!" she wails.

Did I mention that she goes to a Christian school?  Did I mention that those very words were uttered right in front of the church office?

How many more years of teen-dom do I have left?

Oh.  My.  Word.

This has been some day, to say the least.  For those of you who haven't figured it out yet, I am a substitute teacher.  I sub at a very small, private, Christian school that my children attend.  There is a daycare and a school, K-3 through 12th grade.  For the most part, I really enjoy it.  I love to teach, and I get to choose when I teach, and sometimes who.  I don't usually have to do a lot of prep because generally I am called in for just a day.  So, unlike when I was teaching full-time last year, my day starts and ends at arrival and when that final bell rings.

And then there are days like today.  I was asked to fill-in for a teacher for 3 days.  Today, Monday, and Tuesday.  I have subbed for this teacher, and he usually leaves plenty of work and copious notes.  So, of course, I said yes.

When I got to his classroom, he had each classes' manuals and papers in nice, neat piles with the attendance book for said class on top.  I was impressed.  Then I opened up the first attendance book in search of the lesson plans.

Nada.  Zip.

Next set of books.  Same thing.  And so on and so forth.

Now, there were sticky tabs at various places in the manuals.  And sometimes a date was written in the margin.  And for a few classes there were copies of tests, so it was obvious what needed to be done for that class.

I don't mind adding stuff to a lesson, but I really like to find such things out BEFORE THE STUDENTS ARRIVE AND ASK WHAT THE HECK WE ARE DOING THAT DAY.

I guess that kind of set the tone and put me on edge.  But as a sub, I realize that there are days like these and part of my job is to, indeed, wing it.  And I can usually do that pretty well - and once I got over the initial frustration, was succeeding for the first two classes of the day.

The upper school, where I was teaching, is on block schedule, so with two classes down, lunch came and went and I was feeling pretty good.  I knew in advance that the next class - 7th and 8th grade Literature - would be a challenge, as there are quite a few problem kiddos.  Our structured, follow-the-rules 7th grader is in the this class, and he has often come home frustrated with their antics.

It all began when one kid, ever so innocently (yes, you may insert sarcasm there) asked, "Mrs. L, did you write the notes you gave us in Science class last week?"

(I'd filled in for one teacher for a whole week, and rather than just read the book to them, I made an outline of the section and put it on the overhead to make discussion time easier.)

"Yes, I did."

"Well, Mrs. H. said you didn't write those!"

At first, I was a bit perturbed.  I'd spent A LOT or prep time that week for that teacher's classes.  She did not leave good plans.  I like her a lot, but she is not, in my opinion, a good fit for the middle school and high school classes that she is teaching for the first time this year.  We have very different teaching styles, and since I was in there for a whole week, I read the material and presented it in a format that worked well for me and hopefully helped the students.

So, to hear them say that - at first - got my dander up a bit.  Then I remembered my head and realized who the students were doing this "she said-she said" with me.  Lie-to-your-face types.

"Well, then, why don't we go see Mrs. H. after class and we can talk to her about this." I said.

Of course, that was met with "Nah, Mrs. L, we don't need to do that...Nevermind...It's okay..." but I assured them that we would indeed make a little visit and set the record straight.

I gave the class some time to review for their test, then began asking them some questions to make sure they were prepared.  My son raised his hand to answer one, which he answered correctly.  I looked down and started to read the next question, when I heard a lip smacking sound followed by a derisive "Mommy!"

Do I even need to tell you that Mama Bear came out to play at that moment?

"Who said that?" I demanded.

Silence.

"You better tell me now.  I want to know who said it.  Someone better fess up."

Finally one of the duo who started the did-you-write-that controversy raised his hand and said, "I did."

As I started dealing with him on that and told him how disrespectful and rude that comment was, etc., and how he owed me and my son an apology, #2 of the duo started mocking the situation along with a kid who has given my son problems in the past.

Long story short, I sent the trio down to the administrator and took a few minutes to let the rest of the class know how totally inappropriate such behavior is and how disappointed I am that they have such horrible manners and are so unkind (this is not the first time these kinds of things have happened).

I was so angry that I shot off an email to my husband telling him that if these kids' behavior didn't drastically change or if they weren't gone next school year, that we would pull our kids.

Note: our kids are on scholarship because of their behavior and academics, so even though they wouldn't lose money if we withdrew them, they would be losing the very types of kids that the school is trying to attract.  Don't get me wrong, my kids are not perfect.  But they are overall "good" kids.

After class, I saw Mrs. H and, since the boys who I was going to bring to her class to discuss the "notes" issue were awaiting a talking-to by the administrator, I talked to her about it.  Of course, they were full of poo-poo, so the two of us went down to the office and made it clear to the boys that we were united and they can't just go talking crap about one teacher to another.

During the last class of the day, which was a planning hour for me, I spoke with two of the three administrators.  I told them about both situations, in length.  Come to find out, one of the students and his father were told just that morning that he was on his last chance.  Just before I left the school, the upper school administrator let me know that he was being kicked out.

One of the other students came to me unprompted and apologized.  That was encouraging, because I really liked this kid last year, and he has a lot of potential - and I told him that.  But it has been like he's had a brain transplant.  I hope I was able to encourage him a little bit to make better decisions - he's very intelligent, and he is just throwing it in the trash this year with his punk attitude and lack of attentiveness.

As I was gathering up my supplies and kids, the business manager gave me an envelope.  "This was in the outgoing mail, but since you are here..." he said.

I haven't mentioned it here, but about two weeks ago the senior pastor asked the church body to commit to some things that I had some issues with.  So, I wrote a little note at the bottom saying that I felt I could only commit to one of the 6 or 7 items.

He sent me a letter expressing his concerns and asking some questions.  I replied to that letter last weekend.  Two full pages.  Took forever to write, and rewrite, and Rob looked it over and verified that I had explained my reasons well and also expressed legitimate concerns.

The letter the BM handed me was the pastor's response.  He took one sentence that I wrote - out of two freakin' pages - and told me all the reasons why he disagreed with me in the matter, then closed the letter with "I promise I will not turn this into a debate as this will be my last response on your note and letter."

Didn't address a single concern!  And with that final statement, isn't he basically saying, "I will not discuss any of the other things you wrote to me about"?

Can we say frustrated, boys and girls?

Anyway.  If you made it through this entire entry, thanks for hearing me out.

And thank God it is Friday.  And that we will be out of town this weekend and visiting a different church!