Yesterday, I spoke to our church's Friday MOPS group.  Their theme this year centers around the book, Make Today Count by Maxwell.  I was asked to choose one of the chapters, which consist of values that one should incorporate into daily life.  Since it was their final meeting before Christmas, I chose Generosity.

Here are some thoughts from the talk:

Most know that today's Santa Claus originates with St. Nicholas, who lived during the third century in what is now Turkey.  After his parents death, he devoted his life to the Church and gave away his entire fortune to those in need.  "St. Nick" lived his life in such a way that he became known as a gift-giver.

But, I am not sure Nicholas was just - POOF - a giver. 

Do we have to teach children to share?  If you've ever been a room with a couple of 2-year-olds, you know the answer to that!

I once watched a recording of Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz), and he talked about how we all believe this life is our own movie.  "I am the star!  The rest of you are just supporting players."

The reality is, we have to be purposeful in our giving – it doesn't come naturally to most of us.

So, what does it mean to be generous?

First, it's not just about money.  Give of yourself: your time, your attention, your talent...to name a few not-for-sale gifts.

Proverbs 11:25 says, “The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” (NIV)

But sometimes we are called to share our money/wealth.

Jesus said, “Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow.” (Matthew 5:42)

A caveat: don't lend money.  But Nicole, you just quoted a verse that says don't turn away someone asking to borrow.

I know of a family that if they agree to give someone money, they never look at it as a loan.  They make a conscious decision to never expect to get it back.  If they can't give it away, they don't give it.

Anyone every loaned a friend or family member a bit of cash and you're still waiting for that payback?  Makes holiday get-togethers a bit awkward, eh?  If they even come around you any more.

Just give it - expecting nothing in return.

Okay - I get it.  I need to be generous.  But how?

1) Value Others

Treat everyone with respect.  Yes, even that annoying woman in the grocery store line!

A week or two ago I was at our local Kroger.  The lines were four and five people deep.  A manager opened the register next to my line and directed me over.  As I loaded my purchases on to the belt, a woman checking out to the right of us loudly vied for the mangers attention:

"EXCUSE ME!  I need to tell you that if you don't get some baggers in this store, I am never shopping here again!  The cashiers don't know how to bag my groceries, and I am tired of doing it myself.  Are you listening!?  Are you going to get some baggers over here..."

On and on went the diatribe, as the manager, softly and graciously, called over some department managers to bag the woman's purchases as her sheepish husband looked at the floor.

My first thought was, "Wow, I didn't know it was my constitutional right to demand a bagger at the grocery store."  I had a few other thoughts that weren't as "nice".

But as I left the store, a still small voice whispered, "What if that woman just lost someone close to her?  What if she just got word that someone she loves is facing a terminal illness?"

Bottom line: we have no idea what someone might be going through that would cause them to spring a leak - a rather loud one at that! - in a grocery store while dozens of bystanders gawk.  Sure, some people are just rude, but God loves even them, doesn't He? 

God calls me to a lot of things, but one of them is certainly not judging (and thank goodness too).

2) Know what people value

This will mean giving of your time – getting to know them.  If you are like me, the last thing you have is time!  But the dividends of taking time to get to know those you say you love: unmeasurable.

3) Make yourself more valuable

Work on you!  What are you doing to cultivate character and personal growth in your own life?  A few ways to do that include time with God (prayer, Bible reading), being a part of a church, developing relationships there via small groups or discipleship classes, and finding that friend who knows and loves you enough to tell you when you are crazy.  (Seriously.  If you don't have one of those, you need one.  Pronto.)

4) Love people unconditionally

It doesn't get more specific than this: “The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both.” (1 John 4:21, MSG)

5) Find a reason to give every day – and then DO IT!

It could be as simple as letting that guy with just a gallon of milk jump in front of you in line at the wholesale club.  It doesn't have to cost a lot of money or involve a lot of fanfare - it's simply looking for those small moments when you can be an encouragement to someone else.

6) Don't wait for “better times” to be generous

Let's be real.  If you are saying, "I'll give more when the economy rebounds or I get a raise at work or my retirement fund is at a respectable level again," you're really just kidding yourself.  There will always be something - braces for the kids, a blown tire, leaky faucets.  As the old Nike ads said, "Just do it."

As I finished up this little talk, I handed out tea bags with a small note attached: Generosi-tea.  I asked those moms to do something generous - big or small - before they enjoyed that herbal brew.  I hope each one will look at that small gift and be encouraged to embrace a new mantra: I will live to give.

That's exactly what God's Son did for each one of us.  He chose life here on earth, and then He gave it away that we ALL might live.

Of all the gifts you give this Christmas, may Generosi-tea be at the top of the list.

(*I can't take complete credit for the big ideas represented here - Maxwell's chapter on Generosity was vital as a jumping off place.)

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Hello all,

I am in dire need of an original photo that would look nice on our website (church) for our Christmas Eve candlelight service.  It doesn't have to be candles - it could a Christmas tree, fireplace...just something that says "cozy", "calm", "peace", "quiet celebration", etc.

Anyone have one I might borrow/use for a few weeks?

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I am thankful that my spouse makes mistakes with our kids.

If he didn't, they might not learn humility; when he fails in what he says or does in the parenting department, he takes the time to go to them, admit he was wrong, and make it right.

I am thankful that my spouse doesn't always treat me like a princess.

I am sure it'd be nice – at least for a while – to be spoiled at every turn and always get my way.  But there are times that, quite frankly, I am just being a brat, and I need him to stand up to me and tell me so.

I am thankful that my spouse doesn't always say the right thing.

If he did, I might not see Matthew 5:23-24 modeled.

I am thankful that my spouse doesn't always think I am beautiful – either inside or out.

If he did, he might not tell me about that chunk of food stuck in my teeth.  I probably wouldn't care what I ate or if I ever ran another mile.  And even more than that, I'd never have anything bigger and better to strive for in character, grace, and mercy.

He's not perfect, to be sure.  But thank God, because neither am I!

And the truth is, I wouldn't have it any other way.

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We finished up our final One Month to Live small group session tonight.  One member quipped that since it's been more than 6 weeks, which obviously equals a bit more than 30 days, we could at least be thankful to still be alive.  That was good for some hearty chuckles.

The wrap-up of the series has me pondering my own take-aways.  Sure, if I only had 30 days to live some big things would change.  But what about the little things?  Through this whole process, it's the little things that have begun to mean so much more.

• Sitting next to one of the kids, watching a show they like
• Taking a few extra minutes to snuggle up to Rob before starting my day
  
• Letting that person with only an item or two go ahead of me in line
• Saying thank you, even for the smallest things

There are many, many more.

We often don't realize what one act of kindness, one word of encouragement, one pause in our day to allow a "God-moment" to happen can do.  The possibilities are endless!  One group member shared tonight how a nun gave his mom a Good News Bible many years ago.  She laughed it off and stuck it in a drawer.  One day, while still a child, he found that Bible and asked if he could have it. 

"It was in reading that Bible that I found God.  Years later, I was able to lead my mom to the Lord.  That nun probably has no idea."

One small gift changed several lives for eternity.

“The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed planted in a field. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of garden plants; it grows into a tree, and birds come and make nests in its branches.” -Matthew 13:31-32

God, please give me many mustard seed moments as I live out the rest of my days!

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What was your favorite class in high school? (And no, lunch doesn't count.) 

French.  Was my favorite college class too.

Would love to take more classes - or better yet, spend a year in Paris so I could be immersed in the language.  I love the way it sounds.

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Here I am again, two weeks in a row - woohoo!  I probably won't get to do this next week since I only have three days in the office, but I am going to relish it today!

Notes from The Noticer:

"...a true friend holds you to a higher standard.  A true friend brings out the best in you... A best friend...will tell you the truth...and a wise best friend will include a healthy dose of perspective." (p. 30)

"We grow up expecting everyone else to be just like us.  And they aren't." (p. 42)

"I just think it's amazing...that a person could lose everything, chasing nothing." (p.49)

"...smart people get tripped up with worry and fear.  Worry...fear...is just a misuse of the creative imagination that has been placed in each of us.  Because we are smart and creative, we imagine all the things that could happen, that might happen, that will happen if this or that happens." (p.52)

About 8% of what we worry about are legitimate concerns (p.55)

"Most people spend so much time fearing the things that are never going to happen or can't be controlled that they have no energy to deal with the few things they can actually handle." (p. 55)

"...the seeds of depression cannot take root in a grateful heart." (p. 56)

Big takeaway from today's time: Perspective is everything.

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A lot of you in my Vox Neighborhood are good photographers.

Not just good.  Great.

Now that I oversee our church's website and various promo items, I am constantly looking for fresh, innovative, creative, original photos.  On a limited budget.

Limited meaning I actually don't have a budget to purchase photos.

If you'd like to help a girl out by allowing me to occasionally use photos of yours that you've posted here or on other hosting sites, such as Flickr, would you send me a PM?  I will let you know what I use, when I use it.

(I will not use photos that show any identifiable parts of a person, such as their face - I am looking for still shots, scenery, or photos with people's faces obscured - or just feet, legs, hands, etc.  And if I am using a lot of your photos, it would move into a paying gig - or, I can give you a charitable contribution letter if you let me know the value.)

Gracias!

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I have made a decision to create "white space" in both my work and personal life.  What does that mean?

It simply means taking time to notice things - to be aware.

In the context of my work, this means taking some time out each week, during work hours, to read and study and create.  Rob and I found a local coffee place with free WiFi on Monday, so here I am today.  I don't have as long as I'd like - the original plan was 2 hours, but I am here, and that in and of itself is a good first step.

I want to remember things I read today that resonate with me, so I am going to record them here.  Feel free to tune out from this point forward.

From Leading Smart: Don Miller at Story

"We have a relationship with Scripture that is really strange. We sit down and say, "What's in this for me?" What if it's just a story about God? What if He just wants us to get to know Him?"

"Success doesn't tell a very good story. It takes a character with flaws who does good."

"The story that we are telling ourselves is almost always different than the story we are telling the people around us."

Leading Smart: Dave Gibbons at Story

"When there is personal revelation of your weakness--it more fully releases the power of the Spirit."

Leading Smart: Story Launches with Ed Young

"Everybody wants to reach people until you start reaching people."

"The question is not: "How many people are showing up?" The better question is: "Who are you reaching?"

"Change. Conflict. Growth. That's the sequence. Many people won't change. Or they do change and then stop at the conflict, and they never experience the growth."

The Noticer

"...you see only the sand at your feet and what you are eating that you wish was something else.  I don't tell you this as a rebuke; you are very ordinary in your views...Remember, whatever you focus upon, increases." (p. 13)

"...a grateful perspective brings happiness and abundance into a person's life." (p. 13)

"When a person is negative, complaining, and disagreeable, other people stay away.  And that person receives less encouragement and fewer opportunities - because no one wants to be around him" (p.14)

"Ask yourself this question every day: 'What is it about me that other people would change if they could?'" (p. 15)

...because People Matter: SWITCH | Navigating Change with Chip Heath: Session 3

" People are often not ready for change. Consider...

• moving people into the first sky-scraper
• eating the first shrimp
• UGG boots in the middle of summer
  
  • But one change agent impacts another who impacts another who ... (you get the idea)
  • New norms are formed that redefine the "win" for the person or organization"
  "Do we see the win, the outcomes, as measurables that paint us as a success or do we see the win for what our people experience in their relationship with Jesus? How do we best help people move toward their God-designed, truest self?

This has been a great exercise! I am going into work with a relaxed, centered attitude.

This is a definite "rinse and repeat" activity.

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We are doing the One Month to Live Challenge at our church.  The basic premise is to ask yourself at the start of each day, "What if I only had one month to live?"

Every day.  For 30 days.

I have done this once so far - today.

Let me tell you: it is already changing my thinking. 

I've already sent out one apology note and made one phone call just to say hello to someone I love.

This will be an interesting month, my friends.

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Some time ago - gosh, I guess it's been close to 10 years - Savage Garden (I believe that's the group - you may correct me if I am in error) came out with the song "I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You".  I am sure they didn't intend for it to be about Internet relationships (much to the chagrin of one sister and her spouse, who were the victims of some mis-intentioned ribbing in the wake of it's lyrics).  But in this social media era, relationships are being forged without face-to-face meetings at an impressive pace.

When I first started blogging - also close to 10 years ago - I can remember the looks, the questions, when I talked of fellow bloggers as if we'd been meeting for a cuppa Joe at the local coffee joint on a daily basis.  There were eye rolls, scoffs, even concerned warnings about the safety - and validity - of such friendships.

But each time I took the risk of meeting a "virtual friend" face-to-face, I found that person to be exactly as I'd expected. I knew I'd liked them - shoot, loved 'em - before I met them.

My most recent meet-up was no exception.

DSC_5841

Bec and I first "met" on a bulletin board for an author whose books we enjoyed.  From there, we started reading each other's blogs.  At some point, she, Paige (another gal who'd been a part of that BB), and I stared the "OSB* buddies" group, keeping track and encouraging one another in our fitness efforts.  It was in that little group that the real friendship was forged, I believe, as we began sharing more than the miles we'd logged on our runs.

I was fortunate to meet Paige a few years ago when she braved the craziness that is my family and came to one of our Memorial Day shindigs.  And Bec and Paige had met a few times through the years.  But I'd yet to meet the fabulous Bec.

That is, until last weekend.

There is always a bit of apprehension for me when one of these real-life meetings are finally scheduled.  It's not really them - it's entirely me.  "Will they think I'm a dork?...Will I talk to much?...What if I can't think of anything interesting to say?"

Or what if it's just weird.  Let's be honest, it's one thing to chat and email and share photos.  But what if we just don't sync up once the comfort and familiarity of my laptop is removed?

Time and again all of those fears have been cast aside as I've stepped out of my comfort zone and taken the risk of meeting a blogging friend.  And this meeting was another confirmation that community and friendship can be forged on-line - and at perhaps an even deeper level than many local friendships.

DSC_5845

Bec and her hubby took the time to drive two hours to meet Rob and I for breakfast, which we ate slowly as we talked and laughed.  It didn't for a moment feel like a first-time meeting. It felt like a reunion.

Bec was just as witty, thoughtful, and engaging as I'd expected.  And her hubby was pretty awesome too.

And while I haven't had, nor taken, the time to post here much lately, I was once again reminded how important this place is to me.  Blogging has been a lifeline in so many ways, not the least of which has been the friendships I've made. 

That's not why I started blogging all those years ago.  I was just trying to retain some sanity in the midst of the "life in a fishbowl" I was experiencing as a church planter's wife.  But the friendships came. 

And while that wasn't why I started blogging, it's why I stay here, whether I am writing or not.

DSC_5843

*OSB stands for Operation Small Butt

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