Nacwolin’s Neighborhood

"I know, you know, there's no denying it, these are scary and uncertain economic times. Property values continue to plummet like a six-year-old out of a mylar balloon. Retirees are trading in their 401(k)s for a box of Special K. And the dollar has been slapped around so hard it's asked the euro for a safe word."

Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report (11/11/09)

Yeah, that about sums it up.

(Almost.  I have 40 minutes to go.)

This has been a batshit insane week at work.  The verdict in our mayor's trial came in yesterday and it was probably one of the five worst working days of my life.  (The other four, all in no particular order:  Virginia Tech shooting, police-involved shooting that happened on the weekend, faux-hurricane also on the weekend and one night where there was a tornado in one of the western counties and we were on the air for an extra hour, making it four straight hours o' fun.  Presidential elections are also always fun.)

So I am more than ready for my weekend. 

I don't have much planned.  I have to do laundry (of course and always).  But beyond that?  I want to finish the new Sue Grafton mystery, which I'm really enjoying.  I bought myself Terminator: Salvation on Blu-Ray, and I hope to watch that tomorrow night, while eating the Grotto's Pizza that my mom thoughtfully bought me the last time she was in Rehoboth.

Also, tomorrow features a two-hour Private Practice special (although I'll probably be watching that Friday, as tomorrow ALSO has new episodes of The Office and 30 Rock).

Speaking of The Office, I'm really close to breaking up with that show.  It hasn't been funny in a really long time.

I might also make my return to reading actual books, because I have some review copies I want to get through.  AND I learned today that I'm getting a review copy of the new Joe Hill book!  I'm really excited for that, because I loved his debut novel, Heart Shaped Box.  (He's also Stephen King's son, but that's not why I like his books.)

I also got a copy of The Phantom Tollbooth today.  I've never read it before, and I won it in a contest. :)  One of my really good friends absolutely loves that book and every time she remembers I've never read it, she gets really sad.  (And also sort of horrified.)  So I'm excited to read that, too.

One of the cool things about the Kindle is that they offer a lot of classic books for free.  I'm hoping to become a more well-read person next year, so here's hoping. :)  I did download a slew of classics (Anne of Green Gables and most of the rest of that series, Uncle Tom's Cabin, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, My Man Jeeves--I blame you, Cori!--Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Treasure Island, Black Beauty, A Christmas Carol, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Little Men, Vanity Fear, Tess of the D'Urbervilles, Madame Bovary, The Age of Innocence, The House of Mirth, The Count of Monte Cristo, Pollyanna and its sequel, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, Pollyanna Grows Up, Northanger Abbey, Sense and Sensibility, Emma, Persuasion, and Anna Karenina).  So yay! :)

 

 

 

Please visit www.harlotssauce.com, a really wonderful magazine, with a poem of mine and my first published photo!  The magazine's main theme this month is life, god and the universe.  I believe in God, or an "invisible friend."  I have often struggled with this faith, forged in childhood.  I need my God like I need a safety blanket.  I carry God around with my everywhere.  In my poem, I am exploring how I feel about God.  Many good poems and articles in this issue of Harlot's Sauce, so please read and comment.  I plan to do so.

Lily has some new underwear that have each day of the week on them.  She thinks they're very exciting.  Tonight, she came up with the brilliant idea that if she's at school and needs to know how to spell Tuesday, she can just look at her underwear!  (I discouraged doing that in public).

Since I have had nothing to say lately I will post this...

Thumbs Down:

1. We're not in our new house yet nor has our other house sold.  Sigh.
2. Our main computer crashed.  Ray has everything working except Outlook.  It wants a key-product code and we have no idea where it might be.  I have about 200 email addresses and my calendar on there so feel like I've lost a limb.
3. We're missing Cody's wrestling tournament today.  It wasn't on the original schedule so we found out late and it's just not working out.  I hate missing the kids' stuff.

Thumbs Up:

1. The carpet for the main floor is scheduled to be installed on Monday. 
2. Booked our annual ski trip for after Christmas.
3. Had a really nice Thanksgiving.

 

Catholic Girl

 

The supposed buoyancy of Jesus in water

Used to obsess me as a child

Was Mary unable to bathe her baby?

 

Once at the end of a Sunday

I realized I had a bit of Jesus

Caught between molars

I hadn’t felt godly all day

And had fought with my sister

 

In the choir balcony

I squeezed shut my anus

My vagina

To avoid fouling the air

 

Sweat poured off me

I grew dizzy and saw lights

At the moment of transubstantiation

Red mist poured from the priest

 

And a low hum like a lion’s growl

Swirled about me

 

I had nightmares about the church

Running between pews

After a little devil dressed

In yellow rain coat and galoshes

Like the Morton Salt Girl

 

When I caught her

I saw myself at five

Laughing and bewildered

At the same moment

 

I had nightmares

About the Cat in the Hat

Damning me to fiery hell

He was not natural

A six-foot tall cat

Wearing a hat

He was Satan

 

 

Later when my sex swelled

And I had thoughts

Of women and men

I had dreams of coupling

In the depths of the sea

Mermaid beautiful me

I came upon the shore of the bed

In waves, in spume

 

 

I dreamt I was a lime-white lady

In a brocaded gown

a scary medieval Madonna

 

I came to the church

And was met by knights

Wearing those silly duckbill helmets

They told me

Though I was queen of the land

I was not ruler of the church

And could not enter

 

I’ve even dreamt I was the

Whore of Babylon

Riding a seven-headed dragon

Who was actually quite nice

 

Everywhere I went

I withered crops

Unintentionally

It wasn’t my fault

 

There were some saints

I could kind of have

I always felt that Joan of Arc was hot

I’d go with her

I’d be in her club

 

And Mary Magdalene

Was almost stoned

Till a long-haired Jesus

Saved her

She was worth saving

Worth fighting a crowd for

 

 

I think I’ve found my Mary

the scared girl at the back of the class

Something god-like in her

I want to help her fight

 

Lucy Simpson, Seattle, 12/2009

I get asked this question a lot.  A LOT, a lot.  And in the hopes of never having to answer it again, here we go. :)

First, you know how some people like to watch TV and how some people like to listen to all the new music and how some people shop?  I read.  I watch movies and TV, too, but mostly I'm a reader.  I always have been.  There's a picture of me as a toddler reading People (this has not changed, even though I've applied for a job there twice now and they haven't hired me...but that's not the point) and family legend says that I started reading when I was three.  But I think most people manage to do a lot of whatever their non-work priority is.  For me, it's couch time with a book; for you, it might be concerts or shoe shopping or watching every single episode of Top Chef in one crazy weekend marathon.

Second, this year (and next year!), I decided to read for charity.  Family and a couple of friends are sponsoring me (most are doing a flat rate, which is what I encouraged) and I've read more this year than I have in any year prior.  (I am on pace to beat last year's total by over 100 books.)  I think it's because if you give me a goal, I will exceed all expectations. :)

Third, if you look at what I've been reading this year, you'll see that it's not super challenging.  I haven't been reading War and Peace or Madame Bovary or anything.  I did finally read Little Women, but still.  Not the same thing.  I've been reading mysteries, general fiction, fun nonfiction (hello, AJ Jacobs!) and a ton of YA fiction. 

And finally, I don't have kids.  I don't have a significant other or roommate.  I have a dog who is fine with me reading all the time, provided he can hang out in my lap while I'm doing it.

Have you ever had this happen:

CO-WORKER: "You know Lindy?"

ME: "Uh..."

CO-WORKER: "Lindy...Lindy!"

ME: "No, I don't believe so."

CO-WORKER: "Come on, you know Lindy."

ME: "No, I don't."

CO-WORKER: "Lindy...cute girl, always carries a backpack?"

ME: "Dude! I've never known anyone named Lindy in my entire life!"

CO-WORKER: "Oh...well...I saw her today."

What the heck is that about????